Tracey Hobbs, early years development manager at the Alliance, explains why resilience is so important and how early years educators can help children develop this vital skill
Building children’s resilience can help give them the tools they need to navigate stressful situations. When children have the skills and confidence to confront and work through problems, they learn that they have what it takes to tackle difficult issues.
The more they can manage on their own, the more they internalise the message that they are strong and capable.
As we know, all children are different and they develop at their own rate. All children will have different levels of resilience and different ways of responding and recovering from stressful situations.
Children will also have their own ways of showing when the demands put on them are outweighing their ability to cope. Some children will display this by becoming emotional, others will withdraw or become defiant, and restless.
Even the most resilient of young children will have days when it all becomes too much for them. Children with low resilience are more likely to display certain patterns of behaviour.
A supportive role
Early educators and parents can help children build resilience and confront uncertainty by teaching them to solve problems independently. As an adult, your gut reaction might be to jump in and help so that the child avoids dealing with discomfort. But this can weaken a child’s resilience.
Unfortunately, children need to experience discomfort so that they can learn to work through it and develop their own problem-solving skills. Without this skill set in place, children may experience anxiety and learn to shut down in the face of adversity.
Helping children develop into thriving adults is not about shielding them from adversity. If we could scoop them up and lift them over things that may cause them to stumble, that would be wonderful – but this would not do them justice.
Children need to know how to deal with a little bit of stress. This will help them to develop the skills they need to flourish. Nurturing strategies that will help them cope with adversity will set them up with healthy coping skills for the future.
It isn’t self-reliance, determination or inner strength that leads children through adversity but the reliable presence of supportive relationships with adults. The daily presence of responsive adults can help to reverse the physiological changes activated by stress, which can be damaging for young children.
Resilient children are more likely to take healthy risks because they don’t fear falling short of expectations. They are curious, brave and trusting of their own instincts. They learn to know their limits and push themselves to step outside of their comfort zone. This helps them to reach their long-term goals and helps them solve their problems independently.